Hello, I've only got as far as the fourth paragraph and already have a comment/question! I've been interested in spiritual bypassing for awhile though not so much in a yogic context as in a Western religious context. I've also engaged with people who spiritually bypass in both work and personal settings. You say: 'So one might stifle an awkward opinion to seem more enlightened.' I've thought spiritual bypassing is not something that people consciously 'choose' and so there is no deliberate stifling of awkward opinions either because the stifling is so habituated/conditioned as to be unconscious or because the awkward opinions aren't there to be had by the sincere spiritual bypasser!.
Is there both conscious and unconscious spiritual bypassing and is the conscious type just another name for gaslighting or manipulation or possibly coercive control? (I'll read the rest of your article later!)
Good question! I see now that my phrasing might imply something more conscious than I intended so I've reworded it slightly - I agree that it's mostly unwitting, but I think there's an awareness at some level of what's going on, a bit like "people pleasing". It might be going on below the radar, but it can also be observed and addressed.
Still, that leaves the question about whether the awkward opinions exist if they're stifled at birth! I think they probably do, but in non-verbal form, so they come out sideways or get stuck in the body somehow.
That said, I do think there can be conscious forms of spiritual bypassing, which is often how cults function, so you're probably right about those parallels!
I often wonder if my feeling that there's an awareness at some level of what's going on is wishful thinking on my part, a sense of superior knowing, or just plain wrong! It's possible some people just don't have those awkward opinions that I too often have and that are in my case possibly only rarely stifled at or before birth! The intention precedes the thought, the thought is an action, and is the thought more or less himsic than the stifled thought?!
Another great question! I can only really speak from my experience of learning in hindsight about what sustained an array of unhelpful behaviours. I wasn't consciously aware of doing those things at the time, but with a little more insight, I notice them happening these days - though not always in time to stop making a mess of things... But it does feel like there's a prospect of doing that. As for whether the stifled thought is more harmful, it does sometimes seem to me that coming out sideways winds up causing more problems, for me and for others - it's easier to deal with straightforwardness, even if unpleasant. At least it sort of makes sense, whereas the impact of stifling just sows more confusion a lot of the time. Or at least that's how it seems to me this Wednesday morning!
Yes, I agree. Perhaps the word 'stifled' (a good one!) is limiting the options. I find that some thoughts that are held rather than expressed/shared can give that vital space for reflection and discernment. Other times they do come out sideways causing more harm than good. Straightforward seems generally better than sideways and sometimes the chosen pause of silence is best of all.
Your essay brings to mind two efforts I have been working on in my practice: a) detachment, and b) theorizing. In order to survive the tumultuous US politics of the last two decades and keep my marriage intact, I started an active practice of detaching from my emotions while still engaging in political discussion. What a difference it has made to my peace of mind. Then, from my scientific training I've been experimenting with the language of, "My theory is...." rather than just blurring out my opinion and triggering an immediate push-back negative reaction. It would be interesting to know how many times in the Gita Krishna exhorts one to detach. It is all over the Gita. I can offer that this detachment practice from the Gita really works IRL. I suspect that it is dominated by the "buddhi."
Both of those approaches sound helpful, Lauren! I agree that the Gītā is a rich source of inspiration (though, like the Yoga Sūtra, it has a few awkward bits as well…) 🙏
Thanks for the support. I put my experiences out there to hopefully encourage people to see through the historical document to their own actual practice, based on gems found in the documents. I find from my experience with the yoga philosophy group I have been involved with for 3 years now that people are shy to take this step, afraid of doing it wrong/not getting why a certain practice works.. I try to encourage them to make the leap, to go from the idea of fire to cooking a meal over fire (Gita).
Hello, I've only got as far as the fourth paragraph and already have a comment/question! I've been interested in spiritual bypassing for awhile though not so much in a yogic context as in a Western religious context. I've also engaged with people who spiritually bypass in both work and personal settings. You say: 'So one might stifle an awkward opinion to seem more enlightened.' I've thought spiritual bypassing is not something that people consciously 'choose' and so there is no deliberate stifling of awkward opinions either because the stifling is so habituated/conditioned as to be unconscious or because the awkward opinions aren't there to be had by the sincere spiritual bypasser!.
Is there both conscious and unconscious spiritual bypassing and is the conscious type just another name for gaslighting or manipulation or possibly coercive control? (I'll read the rest of your article later!)
Good question! I see now that my phrasing might imply something more conscious than I intended so I've reworded it slightly - I agree that it's mostly unwitting, but I think there's an awareness at some level of what's going on, a bit like "people pleasing". It might be going on below the radar, but it can also be observed and addressed.
Still, that leaves the question about whether the awkward opinions exist if they're stifled at birth! I think they probably do, but in non-verbal form, so they come out sideways or get stuck in the body somehow.
That said, I do think there can be conscious forms of spiritual bypassing, which is often how cults function, so you're probably right about those parallels!
I often wonder if my feeling that there's an awareness at some level of what's going on is wishful thinking on my part, a sense of superior knowing, or just plain wrong! It's possible some people just don't have those awkward opinions that I too often have and that are in my case possibly only rarely stifled at or before birth! The intention precedes the thought, the thought is an action, and is the thought more or less himsic than the stifled thought?!
Another great question! I can only really speak from my experience of learning in hindsight about what sustained an array of unhelpful behaviours. I wasn't consciously aware of doing those things at the time, but with a little more insight, I notice them happening these days - though not always in time to stop making a mess of things... But it does feel like there's a prospect of doing that. As for whether the stifled thought is more harmful, it does sometimes seem to me that coming out sideways winds up causing more problems, for me and for others - it's easier to deal with straightforwardness, even if unpleasant. At least it sort of makes sense, whereas the impact of stifling just sows more confusion a lot of the time. Or at least that's how it seems to me this Wednesday morning!
Yes, I agree. Perhaps the word 'stifled' (a good one!) is limiting the options. I find that some thoughts that are held rather than expressed/shared can give that vital space for reflection and discernment. Other times they do come out sideways causing more harm than good. Straightforward seems generally better than sideways and sometimes the chosen pause of silence is best of all.
Well said, Karin - there is always space for noble silence, and it sometimes precedes skilful speech!
Your essay brings to mind two efforts I have been working on in my practice: a) detachment, and b) theorizing. In order to survive the tumultuous US politics of the last two decades and keep my marriage intact, I started an active practice of detaching from my emotions while still engaging in political discussion. What a difference it has made to my peace of mind. Then, from my scientific training I've been experimenting with the language of, "My theory is...." rather than just blurring out my opinion and triggering an immediate push-back negative reaction. It would be interesting to know how many times in the Gita Krishna exhorts one to detach. It is all over the Gita. I can offer that this detachment practice from the Gita really works IRL. I suspect that it is dominated by the "buddhi."
Both of those approaches sound helpful, Lauren! I agree that the Gītā is a rich source of inspiration (though, like the Yoga Sūtra, it has a few awkward bits as well…) 🙏
Thanks for the support. I put my experiences out there to hopefully encourage people to see through the historical document to their own actual practice, based on gems found in the documents. I find from my experience with the yoga philosophy group I have been involved with for 3 years now that people are shy to take this step, afraid of doing it wrong/not getting why a certain practice works.. I try to encourage them to make the leap, to go from the idea of fire to cooking a meal over fire (Gita).